This week is going to be big.
Huge.
Massive.
Two of the things which I fear the most are scheduled for the same day. I wish it were Wednesday and I knew the outcome of both.
On Tuesday, my sister will have her tonsils removed. One of the things Geoff really hates is when sister is ill. And so sister having an operation is likely to send him absolutely wild. He's not started yet, but I can feel him biding his time. However, since she's been ill since May - so for seven months - this should be (touch wood) the final hurdle before she starts getting better. I do wonder whether her illness has played a major part in my health having declined so rapidly of late.
On Tuesday, I will also go and see the doctor about my eating disorder. This terrifies me. I know that I need help but I just don't want to admit to anyone else that I've got a problem. I don't want it to have implications on my degree, or on my family and friends, or on any part of my life. I don't want to be weighed by anyone else, particularly, and I don't think that I can tell anyone else what I do at work, or what I did in the car park. I guess that I've got to be brave. This year, my sister has been braver than I will ever be. If I can emulate just a little bit of that...
Fingers crossed.
Kate - you CAN do this. You CAN. Please be as honest as you can with your health professionals. They can't help you properly if they don't know all your symptoms. There is NOTHING, and I repeat, NOTHING to be embarrassed about. You have an illness. Plain and simple. And I GUARANTEE they've heard all of this before. I know how scared you are. I was incredibly frightened before I went to therapy. I didn't know what to expect and I didn't know how much I would have to work at it or how I would have to change my life, etc. But you know what? It was one of the best decisions I ever made. I will be praying for you. You're such a brave person and I so admire you for facing this scary stuff. I can't wait to hear how your appointment goes.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for your sister too. Hugs.
I hope Tuesday goes well for you and your sister.
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