What A Day (Grandad).

My family always remind me of the time I said this to my Grandad shortly before my third birthday.  It's one of the memories that I will always enjoy.

Today wasn't as bad as it could have been.  The most important thing is that my sister's operation went well, and she was recovered enough to be discharged this evening (although remarkably later than could have been the case due to a medication problem. The NHS wins again!).  She has, however, spent a good proportion of the evening vomiting into an empty ice cream tub.  It's a good job I'm not emetophobic!

Today was also the day of my doctors' appointment.  It went well.  I think.  My amazing, amazing friend, to whom I owe so, so much (suitably large Christmas present heading her way very soon!), came with me, and was 'there for me' every step of the way, which was an immense comfort.  I've done so many things by myself because there has been no-one else, that it's very odd to have a non-family member who actually seems to care about me.

I managed to tell the doctor about everything and allowed myself to be weighed, although that has really frightened me because I've lost ten pounds in the last fortnight.  She asked me whether I was depressed/suicidal/mood-swingy (I'm not) and then said that she'd refer me for counselling.

Lovely as she was (and she was lovely), she kept telling me that I should 'keep eating'.  As if that's going to happen.  I'm not eating anyway, and so someone telling me that eating healthily isn't going to make me put any weight on isn't going to change that.  She also asked me whether I'd 'tried to get better', which did make me feel a tiny bit like she thought I was a teenager going through a phase.  I'm not.  And also that I'd given up without trying and gone straight for a 'quick fix' (which counselling never is...).  If I could make myself better, I wouldn't have been sitting, petrified, in a doctors' surgery at ten past four on a Tuesday afternoon, would I?

But, yes, today has been considerably better than I had imagined.

Apart from that I've still got a heck of a lot of Christmas shopping to do...