Other Ramblings...

Friday, 27 July 2012

The Witching Hour.

'If you don't finish that tea by midnight...', starts the voice in my head, 'I'll...'.

I probably would have enjoyed taking my time with my cup of tea, but I give in to OCD and finish it as the seconds tick on on my alarm clock.  Maybe in the morning, depending on what sort of day it were, I'd fight it.  Rationally, what could happen if I didn't finish my tea within the specified timescale?

Irrationally, so many things.  I'm usually quite tired - and probably more than a little fed up - by this time and so it's likely that I can't be bothered with setting consequences for any sluggish behaviour.  The feeling of anxiety is enough to spur me on, as is the thought of finally getting to bed.

Bedtime rituals are pretty common amongst people with OCD.  From the laymans (ie. my) point of view, this is possibly because my brain knows that I'm about to try and get it to turn off and tries to cram as many compulsions in before it is squashed back into its box and has to wait a whole seven and a half hours before it can start annoying me again.

Another theory, which has just struck me and so probably won't make the most sense, is this: if OCD is fed by anxiety, and OCD is, basically, a fear of a loss of control, and going to sleep in the ultimate loss of control, then bedtime is going to be a huge issue for most people with OCD.  So, I guess, it could be that my anxiety levels rise at bedtime, causing my brain to issue a flurry of 'compulsion orders' in order to try and regain some control.

I don't know.  Answers on a postcards (or in the comments box), please?!

No comments:

Post a Comment