Evening!
I know I've not updated for ages - sorry again! I seem to be swinging between being too busy and 'OK' to post, and being too miserable to think about even attempting it. I'll try harder next time...
I finally got an appointment with the Eating Disorders Team (and it's even on the NHS - how unexpected is that?!). I imagine that I'll be being assessed at the first appointment, and then we'll see how it goes from there. Half of me is hoping that I'll be given a strict eating plan because I just want to get better as quickly as possible. Geoff, on the other hand, wants nothing to do with any of it and will not be listening to anything anyone says.
Geoff, as it happens, has been an absolute nightmare since I got the appointment through. He doesn't want me to eat anything at all, and wants me to get rid of anything I have eaten. It's a massive struggle to convince him that eating is normal, or that I'm ever hungry enough to be allowed to do it. He's in my head constantly, so most of what I think about is food-orientated. It's difficult to find the brain-space for anything else at the moment.
My friends are, as ever, wonderful and amazing. We went to the cinema last week and it was the first time I've really not concentrated on what Geoff is saying for ages and ages. They're also really good at knowing exactly the right thing to say at all times. It's so lovely to know that there are people who really do care about me, and who seem to understand how I'm feeling so absolutely.
So, yes, this is my life-update for this week. I'll try and post again before my appointment!
I was really confused about who Geoff was, thinking he was a really bad boyfriend or husband at first. Thank goodness I saw your sidebar with the "Meet Geoffrey" post. I read a book not to long ago where the Dr. called OCD, "the Monster". Lots of times I have to remember that OCD is really not me, naming it would certainly give it an identity other than my own brain. Clever idea.
ReplyDeleteI had an eating disorder when I was 15-16, before OCD entered into my life but it appears that many people have both disorders.
Ha ha ha I have to say that Krystal Lynn's comment really cracked me up. "Thinking he was a really bad boyfriend!!" Too funny.
ReplyDeleteWell, I want to read your posts!! And I want you to get better.Geoffrey's a bad boy and he needs to be put in his place, and I'm sure he will be very soon. Hugs.
I had to read your post when I saw your title. Call me someone who dares to touch the wet paint.
ReplyDeleteGetting help is SO HARD. It's probably the most difficult part of the whole process. I'm glad you've got your appointment. Best wishes as you start your journey.