A lot of my posts are inspired by music and, as in Sesame Street, this blog is brought to you by John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John's We Go Together.
Tonight, something struck me. I've always been a very nostalgic person, possibly because often I think it's impossible to remember high anxiety levels properly, and so I tend to think that I was less anxious/compulsion-y in the past - something which most probably isn't true - and therefore miss that time of my life like crazy.
Today is Friday, and this evening I was absent-mindedly pondering which set of Friday nights I was most nostalgic about. And then it suddenly struck me: I can't be nostalgic about anything more than about the last couple of months because I actually can't remember what they felt like. I'm finding this pretty tricky to explain but, I think, what I mean is that Friday evenings when I was in the Sixth Form (American Senior year, I think - correct me if I'm wrong!?) because I don't remember what they felt like. I remember what I did, which has always remained pretty much the same, but I don't know what it felt like to have a whole work-free weekend without any pressures other than homework and so I can't wish, wish, wish that I was back there.
A friend (who has proven pretty invaluable in the past week) reminded me - on the theme of nostalgia - that last year wasn't as plain sailing as I remembered it. The last couple of days have been really difficult because I thought that I really missed the last year of University, but I think I was viewing them through rose-tinted glasses rather too much, and her 'reality check' has proven really useful. I went to the first seminar of the new academic year today, and it wasn't awful. There are people I know in the class, and I don't think any of them are going to bite me...They're not my best friends, and they don't have to be my best friends because I've already got lots of friends, thankyou very much, and just because they're not in my class doesn't mean that I can never see them every again.
So today, I'm feeling more positive.
And where does the song come in? The lyrics 'We'll always be together', which are repeated quite a lot in the chorus made me think about all the times I've not properly anticipated things changing, or have had that wonderful feeling that something isn't going to end. I think that's nostalgia at its best!