I never quite know whether to tell people about Geoff/eating disorder things.
Obviously, the people closest to me know because they have to, because otherwise some of the things I do, or the fact that I rarely eat a proper lunch, or my lack of enthusiasm some days appears odd. I want to be really open and honest, and just accept the fact that both mental illnesses are a part of me, and something which is just another part of my life, but I'm just so bad at telling people.
I think that the problem is that I'm still embarrassed and relatively bad at talking about either. I find it difficult to explain the strange things I have to do, and it's also challenging to explain the anxiety side of the illness to people, which is really important, otherwise they just think, 'Hmm...OCD. Yes, I'm quite tidy; we must be the same...', and then assume I'm making a big fuss over nothing.
I told one of my friends about the eating disorder today. He was very quiet all afternoon, and I really hope I've not lost him to it. I shouldn't have done, because he's much too lovely for that. Maybe I'm just imagining it? I tend to do that as well.
Another thing which I find difficult is that I don't want to be seen as the one who needs extra attention, or the one who has to be treated specially. What I want to say to my friends is this: I'm the same friend after I've chosen to tell you about my mental state as before, so I don't need treating any differently. I'm very used to handling myself, and so I don't need help with anything, unless I specifically ask for it. I just want to be a normal person!
So, really, it comes down to whether to tell people and risk them getting the wrong end of the stick, or thinking that I want a lot of attention, or not telling people and then them thinking that I'm strange, or wondering why I do things.
I don't know. If anyone does: answers on the back of a postcard, please!!!